Really?

I had a week where it seemed that every time I left my house I came across some type of eye rolling ‘really’ moment. Usually I’m lost in whatever song is playing on the radio, but this day I was driving down a not particularly busy neighborhood street, when I saw a young ‘lady’ flouncing down toward the main drag. At first I thought I was interrupting a music video, so I slowed down checking the surroundings and to watch this young woman do this deliberate cat walk/Rihanna, heel-toe, line up the knees, strut. Even more glaring was the tangerine tanga shorts she had on. I had to commend her for having the perfect apple bottoms to rock them, but it was 2pm and when are tangas NOT underwear? Anyway, she coordinated with matching heels and to top it off her blond dred locks bobbed in two sloppy piles as though she were channeling her inner Basquiat and Coolio, but still deliberately styled as though trying to pull off the cute Mickey Mouse ears. She had what appeared to be an infant’s tank top on, with contrasting black bra. Her arm was flailing as she spoke on the phone, seemingly oblivious to the traffic piling up around her. I can’t say if she was ‘working,’ but even if she was-really? Two o’clock in the afternoon? Like that? It was so Julia Roberts ‘work it, own it,' I really should have offered her a red Tootsie pop and a bus stop to complete her look. Really? 2pm?

My next moment was at the movies recently. Saw ‘Drive’ for those of you wondering. That Ryan, what an intense dude. There were some scenes that didn’t require the extra thirty-seconds of visual though, so I was cringing. Anyway, hubby and hadn’t had dinner, so we figured we would just pick something up there. I’m usually good with a pretzel and gummies, but now they have some fast food chain items. Both of us ordered a spicy chicken sandwich with onion rings and a medium coke. Total, $27.50. I started laughing because that didn’t include our movie tickets. Really? Then she placed these vessels in front of us that looked like paper ice buckets. I had to ask her if indeed these were the correct size, to which she responded, ‘yes’ as if the 44oz/1.30 liters printed on the bottom lip of the cup was most naturally a medium. REALLY? As we waited on our reheated chicken sandwiches, a man came up next to me, clearly annoyed he was missing his movie because he had to stand in line to get a refill for his even larger cup. I saw that he only had one straw sticking out of the lid, so I gathered he did not come with his six kids to help drain the 64oz. he held. How does one drink that much in an hour in a seated position? I only made it through an eighth of my soda.
Finally, my week rounded off when I was at a light watching the intersection and oncoming traffic to my left. A woman made a right hand turn from the perpendicular street, so now she opposite the median, facing me. I only noticed her because after the turn she was traveling slowly as in ‘I know I shouldn’t be texting, but I’m going to finish writing out in full, this five sentence message.’ There was a car that turned behind her. I could see he was yelling at her because she hadn’t picked up speed. His hands gripped the steering wheel he was leaning into, then he waved one hand out of the window. Are you thinking I was standing at a long light? The thought just popped up in my head. Yes, it was a long light. Anyway, the woman never properly pressed her gas pedal. The man was irate. He was waving his middle finger at her, and sticking his head out of the window! Finally, she rolled passed a drive than might have been 100 feet away, but it was where the man turned into! He had reached his destination in less time than the 0-80 attitude called for! Really? Gasket replacement in 5-4-3...
These are the times I wish I could have seen what happened the hour before I saw these people, or sat in on that meeting that decided, “Consider a sip every five minutes [at approximately two ounces a sip], diameter of straw, popcorn consumption, and average bear size, then a medium is 44oz., dammit! I’m telling you!”
Have a healthy day!)